15 August 2024
Through our In The Same Boat series, young people tell you themselves the importance of friendship, and how being with others who have been through similar things helped to turn their lives around. In the latest edition Meg, Jitesh, Amelie, Daniel and Paris talk about how forming connections with others through the Ellen MacArthur Cancer Trust helped to rebuild their self-belief and confidence after their cancer diagnoses.
Name: Meg
Age: 17
Diagnosis: Adrenal Carcinoma
“My treatment was such a long time ago now. It’s coming up to eight years. I have a hearing issue from it now and I’m not the same as I used to be. From my treatment, I’ve always had anxiety, so it’s nice because some people have had treatment or are still on treatment. There are some people who had it at a similar age, so we can talk about missing out on those childhood things that you’ve missed out on.
“A lot of people think when you come on the trips, you’re just going to talk about having cancer. Whereas that’s not the reality, because it’s not just doom and gloom. It’s about trying to bring positivity and instil confidence in yourself because I think everyone’s lost confidence after their treatment.
“You find people your age. I’m friends with some people who are younger than me, but it’s nice having people that I know that can look up to me as well.
“The sailing is important, but I’d say the social side of the trip is as well. You have to go out of your comfort zone because to get the most out of the trip you have to put yourself out there. The social scene, the UNO, the dance offs and even walking around the marine together is what makes the trip so fun and special.”
Name: Jitesh
Age: 22
Diagnosis: Osteosarcoma
“I used to feel alone in hospital because I spent one year in the hospital all alone. I never had friends over to visit me in the hospital or I never had family visit. I was just there with the nurses and doctors. I made friends with the nurses but there was an age gap between us.
“Here you have friends who are the same age as you. I did not feel alone for a moment. I met a person on the trip who had completely lost a leg. She said, ‘We are twins.’ I felt really good about that because we relate so much that she used the word ‘twin’ as a metaphor because we have the same cancer. Using the word twin is really personal. That brightened me up. It’s just knowing that there’s someone else in the world.”
Name: Amelie
Age: 12
Diagnosis: Medulloblastoma tumour
“I had a brain tumour. There’s a really big scar. When I came out of a really, really long surgery I was left with some ataxia, which is a balance disorder. I can’t move my hand much on one side.
“I can’t run yet or jump a lot. It’s really hard to watch people running and playing tag because running is my favourite thing. But I don’t get too upset because I know I can build my way up to running again. I felt really comforted because there were lots of people on the boat that could help me.
“I was scared that people would treat me a lot differently. This has shown me that lots of people go through this. It’s made me feel more confident and more reassured.
“I’ve had the experience of telling my friends and them not knowing anything about it. It’s good to have your everyday friends, but when you come to the Ellen MacArthur Cancer Trust, you get to make new friends that understand what you’re going through or what you’ve been through.”
Name: Daniel
Age: 17
Diagnosis: Rhabdomyosarcoma
“My confidence has grown so much over the years. When I first started, my confidence was really low because I remember being really shy. Then during my third trip, I began making friends and going up to people and talking to them without knowing them.
“Even if you think you're incapable of doing something, the volunteers and the leaders are really good at helping you overcome that. It helps build your confidence with that thing as well. So, on this trip, a few people were a bit scared of getting in the water. But you just reassure them that the life jackets and everything will be fine, the safety equipment is there to help you. And then you do it once and then you're like, that's not bad, I'm going to do that again. You just do it over and over and over.
“Making friends is my favourite part of the trip. With each trip I get more confident with making friends and talking to people. Water Park has really helped me with that.”
Name: Paris
Age: 17
Diagnosis: Hodgkin lymphoma
“I romanticised my life going into college, thinking it was a fresh start, but I didn't really know that the long-term effects would hit me so deeply, especially the psychological effects of PTSD. And I felt very alienated from other people my age because they would just complain about things, and I didn't want to invalidate them, but I just felt like my experiences were a lot different and I just didn't really understand why they were complaining because their complaints would have been like my dreams to have.
“It’s important to meet people like yourself so that you don’t feel alienated from your peers, as well as to have a support system outside of your immediate family.
“It felt really good being on a boat full of other young people because we are the oldest ones here, so our bedtime would be like a little bit later than the younger ones, and we'd be playing like just silly games at like 11 o'clock at night and just really bonding. It does feel good to have a conversation about our experiences. We don't want pity. We just want to talk about it.”